Personal Safety

Enticement | Loss of Privacy

Risks that put our children's, and sometimes our own, safety in jeopardy, including enticement, and loss of privacy which includes identity theft are threats to our personal safety.

Enticement

When you think of the enticement of a child you might think of some bad guy with candy or a puppy trying to lead your child away. On the Internet enticement takes a little different approach. The predator works to gain a psychological advantage of the child before taking physical advantage. The process of gaining psychological advantage is known as grooming.

Chat rooms are generally the favorite shopping grounds for the predators. Teens and preteens will talk openly about themselves and provide plenty of information to the others in the chat room, which includes the predators. The predators often will indicate that they are also of the same general age and background. Or, the predator will allow that he is just a little bit older, and thus be an adult who takes the child seriously unlike the child's parents or teachers. This provides a platform to offer sympathy in response to the child's complaints. This new 'friend' can then offer support and advise, and possibly even gifts to draw the child in.

Eventually the predator will begin to turn the conversations toward sex by discussing "gross" topics or "can you believe so and so got caught doing this or that." Naughty pictures may begin to become part of the exchanges between the predator and child. The grooming for a sexual encounter is well underway, and this is not just chance. This is a well-rehearsed plan on the part of the predator and it is, and has been, used successfully and repeatedly by many sex offenders.

Many times the victim believes that they are in love with predator. They only see the image that has been created in their mind of this person. Rarely does it bear any resemblance to reality. It is common for the victim to begin to withdraw from normal friends and family and spend significant amounts of time on the Internet interacting with the predator. Some children are abducted, but many are enticed away from their homes and run away to be with the one they 'love'. To recover a child from this situation is doubly difficult. Not only do you want to get them back physically, but you have to recover them psychologically as well. See Katy Tarbox's story.

What You Can Do:

Prevention (see Parent Tips):

• Establish good communication with your child, and keep the communication lines open.
• Talk to your child and spend time with them online. Explain the dangers that he/she might come across while on the Internet¹. Explain how chat rooms work and that people may not be who they say they are.
• Establish family policies of what is allowed and what is not, what to do if they come across something that is not good. Establish a contract with your child of what is expected and both of you sign it. Go here for contract ideas and explanations:
  The WiredKids site http://wiredkids.org/resources/documents//interactive_contract.html or here to the NetSmartz® Web site http://www.netsmartz.org/resources/pledge.htm
• Keep the computer(s) in a common room where the monitor is easily seen.
• Use parental controls appropriate for the age of the child.
• If your child was a willing participant do not blame him or her. The child has been manipulated psychologically and really is a victim.
  

If you suspect you have a problem:

• If there is an immediate personal threat of harm to your child: Call 911
  
• To report an emergency involving kids on the Internet:
  Contact the police headquarters nearest you.
  If the case involves a missing child or you are worried that a child is being sexually exploited, contact The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children’s (NCMEC) CyberTipline or call 1-800-THE-LOST (843-5678).
  
• To report incidents of unsolicited obscene material sent to a child or to report child sexual exploitation, including child pornography, online enticement of children for sexual acts, child prostitution, child-sex tourism, and child sexual molestation
  Contact The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children’s (NCMEC) CyberTipline or call 1-800-THE LOST (843-5678).

Resources:

How and where to report a problem, MissingKids is an excellent site:
    http://www.missingkids.com/cybertip/
U.S. Department of Education http://www.ed.gov/about/offices/list/os/technology/safety.html
¹CyberAngles http://www.cyberangels.org/
The WiredKids Site http://wiredkids.org/resources/documents//interactive_contract.html
The NetSmartz® site http://www.netsmartz.org/resources/pledge.htm

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Loss of Privacy

What makes the Internet good can also make the Internet bad, and that is the rapid movement of data. When the data is not personal private information, and it is available for the use of anyone who wants it, it is a good thing. Online research into loss of privacy, for example, is a benefit of the Internet. On the other hand, data that is private like your health records, past activities, social security number, or phone number should not be available to just anyone. Loss of privacy can have a devastating effect whether resulting in embarrassment or resulting in identity theft.

An example of embarrassment is the case of a young man named Gary. He made a digital clip of himself dancing and lip synching to a song and posted it on the Internet. Once something is posted to the Internet it is out of your control and you cannot get it all back. Because of the clip's popularity, Gary became the focus of media attention. As a result his clip has been repeatedly reproduced and watched millions of times. He eventually ended up taking refuge from the attention in his family's home. Previous news story from the International Herald Tribune Online site.

Cyberbullying, described in the Risks - Behaviors section of this Web site, often makes use of personal information to embarrass, harass, and humiliate an individual. All most everything is embarrassing to a teen if it is not their idea to expose the information. An embarrassing or compromising picture of them could be plastered all over the internet. Past history may be exposed and once it is out there, there is no way to get it back because it will be copied and redistributed over and over again.

For information on how to protect your privacy online go to the Federal Trade Commission's site at this address: http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/edcams/kidzprivacy/index.html . There are tips for kids, adults, teachers, businesses, and the media.

Resources:

GetNetWise http://kids.getnetwise.org/safetyguide/danger/privacy
Tips for Privacy Protection http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/edcams/kidzprivacy/index.html
Federal Trade Commission on CyberSpace http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/pubs/consumer/tech/tec08.shtm
International Herald Tribune Online site http://iht.com/

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